Yellow: Direct Response
Light Yellow: Additional Response
Celeste: Additional Points
“Do everything in a dignified and orderly way” (1 COR. 14:40).
1, 2. What does Jehovah want for engaged couples?
Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Are you engaged to be married? If so, congratulations! Of course, you're probably very busy with the preparations right now. You can be sure that Jehovah wants you to thoroughly enjoy your wedding day and have a very happy marriage. (Prov. 5:18; Cant. 3:11).
2 It is very important that your wedding honors Jehovah. Why? And how can they be sure of it? In this article, we will answer these two questions. Although it is primarily aimed at couples planning their wedding, the principles we will discuss will help all of us to honor Jehovah if we attend or if we are asked for advice.
WHY HONOR JEHOVAH
3. What should Christian couples consider when planning their wedding, and why?
3 When organizing their wedding, Christian couples should take into account the principles that Jehovah has established in his Word. Because? Because Jehovah is the Creator of marriage. In fact, he was the one who married the first two human beings, Adam and Eve. (Gen. 1:28; 2:24). So for you, the bride and groom, God's point of view should be the most important thing.
4. What is another good reason to take Jehovah’s viewpoint into account when organizing a wedding?
4 Another good reason why you should take Jehovah's viewpoint into account when organizing your wedding is that he is your heavenly Father and your best friend. (Heb. 12:9). Of course, they want to protect their friendship with him and prevent anything that happens that day—or any other day—from hurting or offending him. (Ps. 25:14). When you think about everything he has done and will do for you, doesn't he deserve to be honored at your wedding? (Ps. 116:12).
HOW TO HONOR JEHOVAH
5. How can the Bible help engaged couples make good decisions about their wedding?
5 The Bible doesn't contain a list of rules about how a wedding or the subsequent celebration should be. Therefore, there's a wide range of possibilities depending on circumstances, customs, and personal preferences. Of course, true Christians also respect local laws related to this matter (Matt. 22:21). If the couple follows Bible principles, whatever decisions they make, their wedding will honor Jehovah and make him happy. Let's look at some of those principles.
6. Why is it important for engaged couples to meet the legal requirements for marriage? (Romans 13:1, 2).
6 Comply with the legal requirements (Rom. 13:1, 2). In most countries, the laws establish certain requirements that couples must meet in order to get married. So find out which ones apply where you live. If you need help, you can ask the elders.
7. What kind of atmosphere should there be at weddings?
7 Make sure to create an appropriate environment (1 Cor. 10:31, 32). Make sure your wedding reflects the fruit of God's Spirit, and not the spirit of the world. (Gal. 5:19-26). Since the groom will be the head of the new family, he is responsible for making the ceremony a dignified and joyous occasion. What factors will contribute to achieving this? A Bible-based wedding speech delivered with love, affection, and dignity benefits the attendees because they can see that marriage is a gift from God and that the wedding is an important and serious occasion. For this reason, most couples choose to have their ceremony in a Kingdom Hall, if possible. If a couple wishes to use a Kingdom Hall, they should request permission in writing from the body of elders well in advance.
8. What can the bride and groom do to create a dignified atmosphere at the celebration? (Romans 13:13).
8 (Read Romans 13:13). If you decide to hold a party, reception, or banquet, what can you do to ensure that it does not reflect the spirit of the world? The Greek word translated “wild parties” referred to social gatherings where there was excessive drinking and music played until late into the night (see the study note “Wild Parties,” on Romans 13:13). If you decide to serve alcoholic beverages, take precautions beforehand to ensure that no one drinks more than they should. If there will be music, make sure it is kept at a volume that allows attendees to converse comfortably. Also, carefully review what kind of music you will play and what the lyrics of the songs say so that no one feels offended.
9. What should the couple take into account regarding what will be done during the celebration?
9. Do you have plans for family members or friends to say a few words, present some photos or a video, or provide some other form of entertainment? These details can add a special touch to the occasion. However, make sure that everything you do is appropriate and encouraging. (Phil. 4:8). Ask yourselves: “Will it seem respectful and dignified to those attending? Will it show respect for marriage?” And most importantly: “Will it honor Jehovah?” While there may be room for some humor, avoid anything completely out of place, such as indecent comments or anything with sexual connotations. (Ephesians 5:3). Make sure that family members and friends who are going to say a few words know your wishes and respect them.
10. Why should couples be modest when organizing their wedding? (1 John 2:15-17).
10 Be modest (see 1 John 2:15-17). Jehovah values it when his servants seek to honor him rather than drawing undue attention to themselves. That's why modest couples avoid spending excessive amounts of money and "showing off," that is, flaunting what they have. How will you benefit if you choose to have a simple wedding? Consider what a brother from Norway named Mike says: “We didn’t go into debt and were able to continue pioneering. Although it was a simple wedding, it left us with very fond memories.” And a sister from India named Tabitha explains: “Because we didn’t complicate things, we had fewer decisions to make and fewer disagreements. We saved ourselves a lot of stress.”
ILLUSTRATION
Images of brother and sister weddings in different parts of the world. 1. In a Kingdom Hall, the bride and groom are seated facing the brother who is giving the wedding talk. 2. At an outdoor wedding reception, a brother and sister are congratulating the newlyweds. 3. Two newlyweds are lining up with their guests to serve themselves buffet-style food. 4. At an outdoor wedding, the bride and groom are standing facing the brother who is giving the talk.
Anywhere in the world, we Witnesses can celebrate simple, beautiful weddings that we will remember fondly. (See paragraphs 10 and 11.)
11. How can the bride and groom show modesty in their dress and grooming? (See also the pictures.)
11 Have you decided what you're going to wear yet? You certainly want to look your best. Even in biblical times, the bride and groom paid close attention to their appearance. (Is. 61:10). Of course, the clothes you choose may be more or less different from what you would wear on other occasions, but they should still be decent and appropriate. (1 Tim. 2:9). Don't let the clothes—or anything else material—become the highlight of the wedding (1 Ped. 3:3, 4).
12. Why should engaged couples make sure to reject customs that are not in accordance with what the Bible says?
12 Reject customs that do not agree with what the Bible says (Apoc. 18:4). In Satan's world, weddings often include many customs related to false religion, the occult, and superstitions. But Jehovah clearly warns us that we must stay away from all such impure things. (2 Cor. 6:14-17). Therefore, if you have doubts about certain customs or traditions that are common where you live, investigate their origin and look for applicable biblical principles before deciding whether or not to include them in your wedding.
13. How can engaged couples show that they view gifts as Jehovah does?
Where you live, is it customary for guests to give gifts to the bride and groom? The type of gift guests give may depend on their financial situation. Of course, the Bible encourages Christians to give and says that doing so makes us happy (Prov. 11:25; Acts 20:35). However, the couple doesn't want the guests to feel obligated to give them a gift or that a simple present wouldn't be enough. As Jehovah's servants, we strive to see gifts as he sees them and we are grateful for anything others give us out of love and not obligation. (2 Cor. 9:7).
HOW TO RESOLVE CERTAIN SITUATIONS
14. What difficulties do some couples face?
14 Organizing a wedding that honors Jehovah may not be easy for you. For example, keeping it simple might be a challenge. Let's look at the case of Charlie, who is from the Solomon Islands: "It was incredibly difficult to decide who to invite to the reception, because we have many friends and in our culture everyone expects to be invited." Tabitha, mentioned in paragraph 10, says: “Where I live, it’s normal to have lots of guests. So it took time to get our parents to accept our decision to invite only about 100 people.” And Sarah, who is from India, comments: “Some people place a lot of importance on social standing. Since my cousins had a very lavish wedding, some people pressured me to make mine even more spectacular.” What will help you overcome these and other difficulties?
15. Why is it important to pray about everything related to the wedding?
15 Pray frequently about everything related to your wedding. They can talk to Jehovah about any decision they need to make and any concerns they have. (Phil. 4:6, 7 and the study note “in any situation”). They can also ask him to help them make good decisions, stay calm when stressed, and be brave when necessary. (1 Ped. 5:7). As they see how he responds to them, their confidence in him will grow stronger. Tabitha adds: “My boyfriend and I were worried about having disagreements with each other and with our families. So before discussing our plans, we always said a prayer. We really saw how Jehovah helped us to maintain peace.”
16, 17. Why is good communication important when organizing a wedding?
16 Speak clearly and respectfully (Prov. 15:22). Organizing a wedding requires the couple to make many decisions, such as the date, the budget, the guest list, etc. Before making any decision, discuss the options together, the applicable biblical principles, and any advice that other mature Christians might offer. When expressing your opinions, be kind, understanding, and flexible. If close relatives—like your parents—make reasonable requests, try to accommodate them. After all, it's a special occasion for them too. And if you cannot grant their request, explain the reasons tactfully and lovingly (Col. 4:6). Help them see that your main goal is to enjoy a very happy day and honor Jehovah.
17 What if their parents are not Witnesses? Explaining your decisions to them can be especially difficult, but they will fare better if you do it with kindness. A brother from India named Santhosh relates: “Our families wanted us to follow some Hindu rituals. It took my girlfriend and me a long time to make them understand our point of view. We decided to accommodate them in some matters that we felt would not displease Jehovah. For example, we changed the menu and served the food they wanted. Also, we decided against singing and dancing, because they were not used to it.”
18. What will help the bride and groom to make everything go as planned? (1 Corinthians 14:40; see also the picture.)
18 Try to have everything well organized. If you plan things carefully, you'll definitely have less stress on your wedding day. (Read 1 Corinthians 14:40). Wayne, who is from Taiwan, explains: “A few days before the wedding, we had a small meeting with those who offered to help us. We went over the preparations and rehearsed some parts of the ceremony to make sure everything went smoothly.” Out of respect for the guests, please do your best to adhere to the scheduled time.
ILLUSTRATION
A couple who are already engaged are explaining their wedding plans to several friends who are going to help them. The groom is showing them the seating arrangements for the reception on a tablet.
Planning the wedding carefully will help ensure that everything goes as planned. (See paragraph 18).
19. What will help the bride and groom control what happens during the reception?
19 If you are prepared, you will avoid many problems (Prov. 22:3). For example, in your area, is it common for uninvited people to show up at wedding celebrations? Think about what you can do to prevent that from happening. Also, if family members who are not Jehovah's Witnesses will be attending, explain to them what our weddings are like and how we view certain customs. You can show them the article on jw.org, “What Are Weddings Like Among Jehovah's Witnesses?” To help you better manage the reception, consider asking a mature brother to be the “director of the banquet” (John 2:8). If you clearly communicate your decisions to him, he can help ensure that the wedding is a dignified occasion and that everything goes according to plan.
20. What should couples take into account?
20 When you think about everything involved in organizing your wedding, you may feel a little overwhelmed. But remember that the wedding is just one day, the first of what can be a wonderful life serving Jehovah together. Do everything you can to make it a dignified and simple occasion. Trust in Jehovah. If you let him guide you, when you look back tomorrow, you will remember your wedding with a smile and say, “I loved it; I wouldn’t change a thing.” (Ps. 37:3, 4)
WHAT WOULD YOU ANSWER?
Why do couples want their wedding to honor Jehovah?
Because Jehovah is the Creator of marriage. In fact, he was the one who married the first two humans, Adam and Eve. So, for engaged couples, God's viewpoint should be the most important.
Another good reason why couples should consider Jehovah’s viewpoint when planning their wedding is that he is their heavenly Father and their best friend. For this reason, they want to protect their friendship with him and avoid anything that happens on their wedding day that might hurt or offend him.
What will help the couple create a dignified and appropriate atmosphere on their wedding day?
The couple will be helped if they ensure their wedding reflects the fruitage of God’s spirit, not the spirit of the world. If they are guided by Bible principles, whatever decisions they make, their wedding will honor Jehovah and make him happy. Since the groom will be the head of the new family, he is responsible for making the ceremony a dignified and joyous occasion.
In addition, it may help to ask themselves the following questions: “Will it seem respectful and dignified to those attending? Will it show respect for marriage?” And, most importantly, “Will it honor Jehovah?”
How will couples benefit if they choose to have a simple wedding?
Jehovah values it when his servants strive to honor him rather than drawing undue attention to themselves. For this reason, modest couples avoid spending excessive amounts of money and “showing off,” that is, boasting about what they have.
By choosing a simple wedding, couples avoid getting into debt and can continue their careers without worry. Even with a simple wedding, the memories they create can be just as beautiful. By keeping things simple, they'll make fewer decisions, resulting in fewer disagreements and less stress.
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