“Husbands, give them honor” (1 PET. 3:7).
1. What is one of the reasons Jehovah created marriage?
One of the reasons Jehovah created marriage is to give us happiness. As the “happy God,” He wants us to enjoy life, and marriage is one of the gifts He has given us to achieve this. When a man and a woman get married, they promise to love, respect and care for each other, which brings them immense joy.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
One of the reasons why Jehovah gave us the gift of marriage is so that we can be happy, as Jehovah is, and that is why he has given us the gift of marriage.
Jehovah wants us to enjoy life, and marriage is precisely one of those gifts that Jehovah has given us so that we can achieve that. When a man and a woman marry, they promise to love, respect, and care for each other, which brings them immense joy, especially to Jehovah.
2. How are many marriages today?
Nowadays, many marriages are far from happy due to the lack of fulfillment of the promises made on the wedding day. Many husbands abuse their wives physically, verbally, or emotionally, sometimes displaying good behavior in public but being abusive in private. Furthermore, problems such as pornography consumption negatively affect the marital relationship.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
They are not happy because many husbands physically, verbally or emotionally abuse their wives.
The World Health Organization says many husbands physically, verbally and emotionally abuse their wives. We know all this from the news, but it is widespread throughout the world. Not only is it violence, but many women lose their lives. So this is the situation we see in the world.
A detail that the text shows is that many marriages are also affected because the husband watches pornography.
As the paragraph says, there are some who cheat, because in private they treat their wives badly, but in public they treat them well. So they are misrepresenting the way they treat their women.
3. What factors can contribute to a husband treating his wife badly?
Several factors can contribute to a husband treating his wife badly. Some grew up in a home where the father was violent and learned that abuse is normal. Others have been influenced by a culture that promotes the misconception that a real man should impose himself on his wife.
There are also those who have not learned to control their temper or emotions, which leads them to react aggressively. Additionally, exposure to pornography can distort your views on women and marriage. Some experts even claim that the COVID-19 pandemic aggravated these problems.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
There are several factors, and one of them is that, if the father is violent in a home, those who grow up in that environment see abuse as something normal. Another factor is also the culture in which one lives; There are some places where they think that the man is the one who “wears the pants”, therefore, he is the one in charge. But they are wrong, because the Bible teaches us that we should treat people with love and compassion.
There is also another factor: perhaps there are husbands who have not learned to control their emotions, and so, when they get upset, they act impulsively.
So in all these factors, they are not reasons, everything depends on the husband, not the wife. The woman is not to blame for any of these things. What we see is that these are not reasons, but only shortcomings or traumas of the husband.
Among the factors that appear in the paragraph is that there are those who have a very distorted point of view about women and sex. The worldview today is quite corrupted, which is why some husbands have the habit of watching pornography, which affects their marriage.
The text mentions that many experts affirm that, with COVID-19, this has increased. Perhaps spending much more time at home and not interacting with other people may be factors that have altered these behaviors, making them now more common.
4. What should Christian husbands be careful about, and why?
Christian husbands must be careful not to adopt the world's view of women. Because? Because thoughts influence actions. In the first century, Paul warned Christians in Rome not to conform to this system, indicating that some were still influenced by the customs of the world.
Similarly, today, some Christian husbands have fallen under this influence and have gone so far as to mistreat their wives. Therefore, it is vital that they renew their way of thinking and strive to treat their wives with honor and respect.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
They must be careful about being influenced by this world and the distorted point of view on women. This is very important because, in the end, the thoughts one has can lead to committing bad actions towards women.
One way to evaluate whether your view is changing and is no longer the same as Jehovah's view of women is, as the note says, to analyze the publications we have, such as the Watchtower, which address the topic of how Jehovah views women and how he treats them, impartially, listening to them, and also trusting them.
We have an example in the congregation of Rome, when the apostle Paul had to write to them, after a time, so that they would stop conforming to the system of things. This was because they had allowed themselves to be influenced by the customs and attitudes of the world. So Paul told them that they had to change that way of thinking and their behavior, and that is what is happening today. Husbands must be careful not to acquire the same attitude that the world has.
Changing the way you think is complicated. That's why in Romans 12:1, 2, the apostle Paul was urging transformation, which means changing who we are on the inside: our personality and our nature. And to achieve this, it is not enough to eliminate those bad thoughts that are so normal in the world, but it also involves filling them with thoughts that please Jehovah.
Unfortunately, this has also happened in some congregations. There is very valuable information that explains how to help victims of domestic violence. It helps us both to help people who have not suffered this violence, so that they can help them, and also to understand that they are not to blame.
5. According to 1 Peter 3:7, how should husbands treat their wives?
According to 1 Peter 3:7, husbands are to treat their wives with honor, which involves respect, kindness, and affection. Honor is not just a feeling, but is reflected in the way a husband treats his wife on a daily basis.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
He commands us husbands to give honor to women, treating them with kindness and affection.
It is interesting that in the text that has been read, Jehovah was reminding them that women were also heirs of the promises that God had made. That is, there were also women who were anointed and would rule in heaven with Jesus. Therefore, there is no reason to look down on women. Of course, Jehovah never has.
The paragraph mentions that this honor is born from the respect felt towards one's wife and is reflected by the way one treats her.
The text of 1 Peter 3:7 is very interesting, because it says that husbands should live according to knowledge, giving them honor as to a weaker vessel. What does this mean? Well, the husband has to know his wife and must know how to treat her, because wives, like them, are different. One way to do this is by making an effort to know them and see how you can honor them.
The text also mentions that for Jehovah it is not a matter of little importance; He places great importance on husbands having this behavior towards their wives. He says that in order that your prayers may not be hindered, they can actually hinder both your relationship with your wife and with Jehovah.
REJECT BEHAVIORS THAT DISHONOR YOUR WIVES
6. How does Jehovah view men who physically abuse their wives? (Colossians 3:19).
Jehovah displeases men who physically abuse their wives, since he hates violence. According to Colossians 3:19, husbands should not be harsh or cruel to their wives. Furthermore, 1 Peter 3:7 indicates that if a husband does not treat his wife well, his relationship with God will be affected, and even Jehovah may not hear his prayers.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
In Colossians he says not to be bitterly angry with them, and in Psalms 11:5 he mentions that He hates everyone who loves violence. He doesn't say that he doesn't like it, but that he hates those who love violence. So, we should completely avoid that kind of attitude.
So much so that Jehovah hates those people who are violent, that according to the text of 1 Peter 3:7, he says that if a husband does not treat his wife well, his relationship with God will be affected. That is, he may not even hear your prayers.
The text of Colossians 3:19 says: “Husbands, continue to love your wives.” Obviously, when we got married it was because we had love for each other, but the idea is to continue loving. Then he also says: “Do not be bitterly angry with them.” Maybe sometimes we have differences or get a little angry, but “bitterly” is very interesting, because it is an emotion that comes from the heart. That anger is something we should avoid.
Psalm 11:5 says that Jehovah hates violence. If a husband physically abuses his wife, his relationship with Jehovah gradually deteriorates to the point where he will not even hear his prayers. That is why we should not be bitterly angry with her, as Colossians 3:19 says.
7. According to Ephesians 4:31, 32, in what ways should men never speak to their wives? (See also “Big Idea”).
According to Ephesians 4:31, 32, husbands should not speak to their wives with anger, anger, shouting, or hurtful words. This includes insults, cruel criticism, or any comments made with the intention of offending or putting down the wife. Jehovah is attentive to how husbands treat their wives, even in private, and disapproves of any form of verbal abuse.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Verbal abuse, such as when one speaks to his wife with shouts or foul words. The idea recorded in the text talks about how hurtful words, including criticism and anything said to put down or bring down a person, are unacceptable. Therefore, a Christian would not be expected to speak that way to his wife.
The note in this text talks about what we say reveals what we really think and feel. So, pleasant words or hurtful words can come out of our mouths, depending on the feelings we have. Therefore, the Bible tells us to be careful with words, because they can be as hard as swords. So our way of speaking will express a lot of what we feel.
Before saying things, we have to keep in mind that Jehovah hears everything and is very attentive to how husbands address their wives, even when they are in private.
The text mentions that anything that is said with the intention of putting the person down, and this could also include when we are joking, perhaps also when we are with friends or with other people. We may say something in a joke that is taking away from our wife, something we think she hasn't done well or something else, and sometimes we don't even realize it. This detail is something that Jehovah condemns, both verbal abuse and joking in a way that puts our wife down. We must analyze how we joke or how we speak, because we may discover things that we need to change.
What we say and how we speak is so important to Jehovah that it can even damage our friendship with Him. James 1:26 says that when a person does not keep his tongue under control, he is deceiving his own heart, because his worship is of no use.
8. What does Jehovah think of pornography, and why?
Jehovah hates pornography because it degrades women and damages a person's relationship with Him. A husband who consumes this type of material not only disrespects his wife, but also jeopardizes her faithfulness in thought and action. Jesus made it clear that whoever looks at another woman with passion has already committed adultery in his heart.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Our Father Jehovah does not like it at all when a man who has married his wife looks lasciviously at other women. Therefore, he expects husbands to not only be faithful in their actions, but also in their thoughts.
Jesus helped us see Jehovah's view on this issue when he said in Matthew 5:28, 29 that when a man looks at another woman with passion, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So for Jehovah it is just as bad.
The first note cited in the paragraph refers to an article that shows us the feelings it creates in the wife of a husband who watches pornography, and explains how she can feel betrayed, feel worthless, experience distrust or even anxiety. So, without a doubt, if a husband truly loves his wife, he is not going to allow these feelings to be created in her by watching pornography.
When we think about gravity, Jesus says that just looking at a woman with those eyes is a sin. But it is interesting that it is not a less serious sin, because in verse 29 he relates it to going to Gehenna, to eternal destruction, as something that is difficult to forgive. It's something very serious.
Jehovah does care and love women very much. It provides help to wives who may suffer because their husband watches pornography. In addition, it provides them with information on how to act and how to handle that situation, so that they feel cared for. He reminds them that it is not their fault and that He does love them very much.
9. Why does Jehovah hate it when a Christian tries to get his wife to perform sexual acts that make her feel degraded?
Jehovah hates it when a Christian pressures his wife to perform sexual acts that make her feel degraded because this demonstrates a selfish attitude and lack of love. He expects husbands to treat their wives with respect, love and kindness, considering their feelings and conscience.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Because He expects husbands to treat their wives with love and kindness and to respect their feelings and conscience. So, when a husband pressures his wife to perform sexual acts in which she does not feel comfortable, feels degraded or mistreated, for Jehovah it is something despicable. Because furthermore, Jehovah gives the advice that husbands love their wives as their own bodies.
In Ephesians 5:29 he adds that no one has ever hated his own body. So, it would not be right for a husband to force his wife to do things that he would not even like, in order to satisfy his selfish desires. So, Jehovah wants everything he does, as the paragraph mentions, to be with love, with kindness and to respect his wife's feelings and conscience.
It is very important for a husband to respect his wife's feelings and conscience. In the end, this speaks of his friendship with Jehovah. Forcing a woman to do something that puts her in a degrading position, where she feels bad, is very sad. You should never do that.
HOW HUSBANDS CAN STOP BEHAVIOR THAT DISHONORS THEIR WIVES
10. What can husbands learn from Jesus?
Husbands can learn a lot from Jesus by seeing how he treated his disciples with love, patience, and respect. Although He never married, His way of caring for and guiding His followers is a perfect example for Christian husbands.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
They can learn a lot, right? We all know the story of Jesus and how He treated His disciples, that, despite being imperfect people, He did not get angry with them, but treated them with love and kindness. Well, the husband is what he should do, despite the imperfections that each of us may have. In Ephesians 5:25 it says for the husband to continue to love his wives as Christ loved the congregation and gave himself up for them. Therefore, although we are imperfect, we must take into account the wife's sensitivity in order to treat her with love and affection.
Husbands can also learn a lot from the way Jesus spoke to his disciples. He never put them down or treated them badly, but was always very affectionate. So husbands can learn from that too.
11. How did Jesus treat his apostles?
Jesus always treated his apostles with love and respect, without imposing his authority in a harsh or domineering way. Although he was their Lord, he served them with humility, as demonstrated by washing their feet, as John 13:14 tells us. Furthermore, he spoke to them with tenderness and patience, inviting them to learn from his example of mildness and humility.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
He treated them at all times with great affection, respected their dignity and was never harsh or dominant with them.
In Matthew 11:29, Jesus says to learn from Him because He is gentle and humble in heart. Jesus was not proud or arrogant, and always reflected his good attitude towards God and also towards his apostles. He always treated them with great love and respect, and was not domineering nor did he ever feel like he had to demonstrate his authority. On the contrary, he perfectly controlled his emotions, even though he was their master, he served them with humility.
What good advice we also find at the end of this paragraph 11. It says that a peaceful person is not weak, but rather the opposite, since he has the strength not to get carried away by uncontrolled feelings. This is something very important, since we have seen in the introduction of this Watchtower that it is possible that, due to the culture in which one lives or the upbringing one has had, many husbands may think that one must have a stronger character than normal. However, that is not what Jesus' example teaches, but quite the opposite, since it shows precisely that wives are honored.
Furthermore, Jesus has shown us numerous examples in which he showed affection. One of them, for example, was when his apostles began to argue among themselves about who was the most important. Jesus here could, perhaps, have corrected them more harshly; However, he also left us a beautiful example by treating them with love and dignity.
We also have the example of Jesus in John 13:12-17, when he is celebrating the Last Supper with his disciples and washes their feet. He tells them that they should do the same among themselves, and at the end he mentions that if they do these things they will be happy, if they put them into practice. This teaches us that, within a couple and marriage, when both know the teachings of Jehovah and Christ, and put them into practice, they will also be happy.
12. How did Jesus speak to others?
Jesus used his words to comfort, encourage, and edify others, never to hurt or humiliate. Although he faced insults and provocations, he did not return the insults, and at times preferred to remain silent. His example teaches Christian husbands the importance of speaking with respect and love, avoiding hurtful or impulsive words that could damage their marriage.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Jesus did not use hurtful words or speak harshly, not even to his enemies. On the contrary, he always used words to comfort and make others feel good.
Jesus did not use hurtful words or speak harshly, not even to his enemies. On the contrary, he always used words to comfort and make others feel good.
We also know that when his enemies insulted and provoked him, he did not give in to anger. As 1 Peter 2:23 says, when they were insulting him, he did not insult them back, and when he was suffering, he did not threaten them.
As we could see in the speech, they slapped Jesus, and despite all the power and all the help he could have behind him, what he did was act in a compassionate and respectful way. What this teaches us is that husbands should treat their wives the same way. This is what gives value in the eyes of Jehovah, and what we want is for him to always see us well.
13. How can a husband show that he is united to his wife? (Matthew 19:4-6; see also image).
A husband can show that he is united to his wife by being faithful to her in thought and action, just as Jesus taught in Matthew 19:4-6. The Greek term translated “will be joined” literally means “to stick to,” indicating that the marriage bond must be as strong as if they were joined by glue. To strengthen this bond, the husband rejects all forms of immorality, including pornography, and protects his marriage by avoiding inappropriate glances or thoughts.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Joining one's wife literally means sticking to her, forming a bond as strong as if they were glued together. Both husband and wife would suffer if that bond had to be broken.
In the image we have for this paragraph, the Christian husband is clearly seen not only rejecting pornography, which in the work environment seems to be very common, but going one step further. If we look, where he is working, he has photos with his wife. Thus, he fills his mind with what Jehovah likes, which is that they are one flesh and he is forever united with it.
What this brother does in the image reminds us of what Job did. In Job 31:1 it says that he made a pact with his eyes not to look at another woman. Job knew that making a covenant is very important to Jehovah. In fact, the Bible points out that breaking a covenant is a serious sin. The Hebrew term for covenant is equivalent to an invariable contract. That is, this was a measure that Job took with himself to ensure that he gave his wife the honor she deserved.
ILLUSTRATION
A brother working in a car shop. His co-workers look at pornographic magazines, but he refuses to do so.
The husband who is faithful refuses to watch pornography. (See paragraph 13).
14. What steps should a husband take to repair his relationship with Jehovah and his wife?
To repair his relationship with Jehovah and his wife, a husband who has abused his wife should take these steps:
Admit the problem: Acknowledge before Jehovah and himself that he has acted wrongly, remembering that nothing is hidden from his sight.
Stop mistreating and change: Immediately stop any harmful behavior and do not justify it.
Ask for forgiveness: Acknowledge your mistake before your wife and before Jehovah and sincerely ask for forgiveness.
Pray and strive for change: Ask Jehovah to help you control your thoughts, words, and actions, and give you the desire to change.
Hating violence and hurtful words: Make a conscious effort to reject all harmful behavior.
Seek help from elders: Go to them for advice and spiritual support.
Develop an action plan: Take concrete measures to avoid repeating the same mistakes.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Jehovah sees all, knows all, and is aware of everything we do. So, in the event that a husband, for example, watches pornography or treats his wife badly, it is best not to try to hide it from Jehovah, but to admit it, confess it, and take the next steps.
You have to admit or acknowledge that you have a serious problem. First, recognize that what you are doing is not right, and that can then prompt you to continue taking the next steps.
The second step is to stop treating your wife badly and change your behavior, as Proverbs 28:13 says: “It will not go well with him who hides his sins, but mercy will be shown to him who confesses and forsakes them,” which will give him the support of Jehovah to make those changes in his life.
Another important step is to acknowledge before Jehovah and his wife the harm he has done to them and ask for their forgiveness. Because if you don't do this, you can't start following the other steps. Acts 3:19 says that you must repent, turn around so that Jehovah can give you times of relief.
The fourth step is to act on your prayers and learn to hate hurtful words and any kind of violence.
The fifth step is to immediately seek help from the elders of the congregation who will treat you with love.
In the end, it is to develop an action plan to avoid falling into any of these things again. As Psalm 37:5 says, “Put your way in the hands of the Lord,” and He will help you.
HOW THEY CAN GIVE HONOR TO THEIR WIVES
15. How can a husband show affection to his wife?
A husband can show affection to his wife with small but meaningful gestures, such as holding her hand, giving her a gentle hug, or sending her loving messages, such as “I miss you” or “How's your day going?” You can also write letters or cards with thoughtful words that express your love and appreciation. These actions not only honor the wife, but also strengthen the marital bond and demonstrate that love is not limited to words, but is expressed in actions.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
The most beautiful thing is to be able to tell your wife how much you love her every day, to hold her hand, to make her feel how important she is to you. Then, in our daily lives, even if we are at work, we can take a minute to send her a message and tell her that you are remembering her. Many times, simply by leaving her a little note when you go to work, so that when she gets up she can read it. I think it's a way to let her know that your heart is with her.
From what we see in the paragraph, they are small and simple details. We don't need to constantly take her on trips or give her very expensive gifts. In the end, they are small details that, on a daily basis, show that we remember them and that we love them.
How beautiful this paragraph is, because the truth is that Jehovah knows the emotional makeup of women and knows that they need these things. When he gives it to them, it makes them very happy.
16. Why should a husband praise his wife?
A husband should praise his wife because this makes her feel valued, secure, and loved. By expressing his appreciation and gratitude, especially for her support, his husband honors her and strengthens her self-esteem.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
If we apply Proverbs 31:28-30, which says: “Her children praise her, her husband praises her. There are many competent women, but you surpass them all. For she who fears Jehovah will receive praise”, we would make the determination to honor the beloved family figure, making him feel valued, appreciated and gratified with praise, just as Jehovah would do and want.
Husband and wife are one union, and that is why the wife supports her husband so much. If he can do many things, it is also thanks to her support and collaboration. That is why it is so important that he makes her feel good and valued, because for her some of the things she does for her husband can mean an effort. So, it is very important that you value it.
In Proverbs 31:28, it says, "The children stand up and praise her, the husband stands up and praises her." It shows us that praising one's wife can be both private and public.
17. How can a husband show respect to his wife?
A husband can show respect to his wife by treating her as a valuable treasure that Jehovah has given him. This means caring for her, valuing her, and treating her with kindness and respect in all situations, even in the most intimate moments. A respectful husband does not pressure his wife to perform sexual acts that make her feel uncomfortable, degraded, or go against her conscience.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
When we value it, we take care of it and treat it with kindness and respect at all times, not only when we are in front of other people, but also in our most intimate and private moments.
That kindness, respect and affection has to come from the heart, and it has to be born if the wife is seen as a valuable gift, as Proverbs 18:22 says, which comes from Jehovah.
This would also include, privately, in intimate matters, that the husband not pressure the wife to engage in sexual acts that make her feel uncomfortable and that are degrading, that bother her conscience. As Acts 24:16 says, keeping a clear conscience before God and men also includes the wife. So the husband will not pressure her in these matters.
Since sexual relations are something private, the Bible also does not specify exactly what is appropriate or inappropriate behavior within a marriage in that sense. Therefore, this requires good communication in marriage, knowing exactly if something is bothering your spouse or not, and at the same time, that your conscience is clear.
18. What decision should spouses make? (See also the sidebar “Four Ways to Show You Respect Your Wife.”)
Husbands must make a firm determination to avoid any attitude or behavior that dishonors their wives and, instead, strive to always treat them with kindness, respect, and affection. By doing so, you not only strengthen your marriage, but you also protect your friendship with Jehovah, the most important relationship there is.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
They must avoid behaviors that could disgrace them, and also treat them with kindness, respect and affection. We see that Jehovah values all of this very much, and if they do that, they will allow the most important relationship, which is that of Jehovah, not to be affected.
Always imitating Jehovah, our Father, and speaking to her with polite expressions, such as "good morning," "please," and "thank you." We do this with anyone, well with our wife too.
It is important to praise your wife before others, not by telling others what things she may not do so well, but by giving her that honor.
What the Bible is very clear to you is that the husband is one person with his wife. So, you must keep in mind that your wife is a gift from Jehovah, she is like a garden, and gardens must be taken care of every day.
We must be slow to speak and slow to anger. So it is better to be quick to listen and be careful that anger does not last long or be the first thing that comes out of our hearts and mouths.
Colossians 3:12 says, "Clothe yourselves with tender compassion, mildness, and patience." These qualities must always be worn, even when there are moments of tension, we must remain calm.
We see several images of a brother talking to his wife, and it is interesting to see that, both at home and when he is with friends or discussing a slightly more private topic, he is always treating her with affection, with love. And that is what Jehovah wants: that at all times of our lives we treat it with the respect and love that it deserves.
HOW CAN HUSBANDS APPLY THE FOLLOWING BIBLICAL ADVICE?
Colossians 3:19
Colossians 3:19 teaches that husbands should not be harsh or spiteful toward their wives. To apply it, you must treat them with love and patience, avoiding any form of abuse, whether physical or verbal. It also means striving to maintain loving and understanding communication in your marriage.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
In Psalm 11:5 Jehovah says that he hates violent people, and especially husbands who mistreat their wives. Therefore, he advises them to continue loving their wives and not to be angry with them.
Ephesians 4:31, 32
Ephesians 4:31 and 32 encourages us to eliminate anger, shouting, and hurtful words, and to be kind and compassionate. Husbands can apply this advice by controlling their words and emotions, choosing to express themselves with tenderness and respect. Instead of reacting with anger, they can seek peaceful solutions and show love in the way they speak.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Another way to dishonor wives would be to use hurtful words, such as insults, or any other type of comments that take away her dignity or make her feel belittled. On the contrary, we should treat them with kindness. This is also reflected in the way you talk to them and about them.
Mateo 19:4-6
Matthew 19:4-6 emphasizes the inseparable union of marriage. Husbands can apply this advice by remaining faithfully and respectfully attached to their wives, as if they were attached to them. This involves rejecting pornography and any behavior that damages the marital union, thus strengthening the bond that Jehovah has established.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
This would also include the issue of pornography, which can make a wife feel betrayed and that her marriage is being violated.
The phrase in paragraph 13 that says that this union cannot be broken without one of the two suffering. So, remembering that now we are part of the same piece.
We have also seen that husbands have to strive to imitate Jesus at all times, so that they can treat their wives as Jesus treated his disciples and the people around him.
Thanks for the answers
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