Watchtower Study, Week July 29 to August 4, 2024, How to Find a Suitable Person to Marry, Underlined Answers.

Watchtower Study, July 29, August 4, 2024, How to Find a Suitable Person to Marry, Underlined Answers

Yellow: Direct Response

Light Yellow: Additional Response

Light Blue: Additional Points

“Who can find a competent wife? She is worth much more than corals” (PROV. 31:10).

1, 2. a) If a Christian has the desire to get married, what should he think about before taking any step? b) What do we mean when we talk about courtship? (See “Big Idea”).

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET MARRIED? Although it is not essential to be married to be happy, many brothers and sisters of all ages have that desire. Of course, a). Before taking any step, you must be prepared spiritually, financially, and emotionally (1 Cor. 7:36). a Then you will be much more likely to have a happy marriage.

The truth is that it is not always easy to find the right person to marry (Prov. 31:10). Even when you find someone you would like to get to know better, it may not be easy to start a relationship.  In this article we will see what can help a single person find a suitable person and start a relationship. We will also talk about what the rest of the congregation can do to support those who want to get married.

IMPORTANT IDEA: 

In this article and the next, when we talk about dating, b). We refer to the period in which a man and a woman get to know each other better in order to determine if they would be compatible as husband and wife. Courtship begins when a man and a woman make it clear that there is mutual interest and continues until they either commit to getting married or decide to end the relationship. To refer to this period, in some places expressions such as getting to know each other, dating, going out with someone, getting married, starting a relationship or becoming engaged are also used .

HOW TO LOOK FOR A RIGHT PERSON FOR YOU

3. What should a single Christian think about before starting to look for a person to marry?

3 Before thinking about dating, it is important that you be clear about what you want the person you will marry to be like. If not, you might pass on someone who might be a good fit for you, or you might start a relationship with someone who doesn't fit you. Of course, an essential condition is that he be a baptized Witness (1 Cor. 7:39). But that doesn't mean that any baptized person is right for you. You would do well to ask yourself: “What are my goals in life? For me, what qualities should the person I'm looking for have? Are my expectations reasonable?”

4. What have some singles included in their prayers?

4 If you want to get married, you have probably already prayed to Jehovah about it (Phil. 4:6). Of course, Jehovah has not promised anyone that he will find a partner for them. But he is interested in your feelings and your needs, and he can help you in your search. So don't stop talking to him about what you want and what you feel (Ps. 62:8). He asks for patience and wisdom (James 1:5). A single brother from the United States named John C explains what he includes in his prayers: “I speak to Jehovah about the qualities I look for in a sister. I ask that opportunities to meet someone present themselves. And I also ask you to help me cultivate qualities to be a good husband.” A Sri Lankan sister named Tanya says: “I ask Jehovah to help me be faithful, positive, and happy as I continue searching for the right person.” What if time passes and you still can't find anyone? Even so, Jehovah promises that he will give you everything you need physically and emotionally.​—Ps. 55:22.

5. What will help singles meet people who love Jehovah? (1 Corinthians 15:58; see also image).

 5 The Bible encourages us to be “very busy in the work of the Lord” (read 1 Corinthians 15:58). If you follow this advice, you will have the opportunity to spend time with many brothers and sisters. Not only will you enjoy good friendships, but you will have opportunities to meet other singles who are also focused on serving Jehovah. Furthermore, since you will be doing everything you can to please Jehovah, you will be truly happy.

ILLUSTRATION

Series of images: 1. A single sister chats animatedly with an older sister as they preach together. 2. The single sister serves food at a construction project for our organization. 3. A single brother accompanies an elder during a shepherding visit to a couple. 4. The single brother drives a machine on the same construction project. If you remain focused on serving Jehovah, you will meet many brothers, and some of them may also have a desire to get married. (See paragraph 5).

6. What should singles who are looking for a partner remember?

6 Of course, don't let finding a partner become the most important thing in your life (Phil. 1:10). What makes a Christian truly happy is not being single or married, but being a friend of Jehovah (Matt. 5:3). Additionally, while you are single, you will likely have more freedom to expand your service to Jehovah. (1 Cor. 7:32, 33) So make good use of your singleness. Jessica, who is from the United States and got married when she was almost 40, says, “Although I wanted to get married, what helped me stay happy was focusing on preaching.”

TAKE YOUR TIME TO OBSERVE THE PERSON

7. Why is it prudent that before expressing your interest in a person, you spend time observing them? (Proverbs 13:16).

7 What if you found someone who you think could make a good husband or wife? Should you go as soon as possible to express your interest? The Bible teaches that a wise person first acquires knowledge and then acts (read Proverbs 13:16). So the most prudent thing is to observe the person discreetly for a while before expressing what you feel. A brother from the Netherlands named Albert says: “Feelings can leave as quickly as they came. So it's best to take your time to observe the other person and not jump into a relationship impulsively.” On the other hand, by calmly looking at her, you may come to the conclusion that he is not the right person for you.

8. How can a single man observe a person he is interested in? (See also the image).

8 Maybe you are wondering: “And how do I discreetly observe the other person?” For example, at the Kingdom Hall or at a social gathering you may notice details about her way of being and acting or about her spirituality . Who are your friends? What things does She talk about? (Luke 6:45). Are his goals similar to yours ? Perhaps you can talk to the elders in his congregation or other mature Christians who know her well to ask for referrals (Prov. 20:18). You could ask them what her reputation is like and what qualities she has (Ruth 2:11). Of course, when observing the person, make sure not to make them feel uncomfortable. He respects her feelings, her privacy and her personal space.

ILLUSTRATION

Images of the two bachelors in the previous images discreetly observing each other at the Kingdom Hall. 1. The sister notices how the brother converses with an elderly couple. 2. The brother notices the sister as she participates in a demonstration at the midweek meeting. Before telling a person that you are interested in them, he spends some time observing them discreetly. (See paragraphs 7 and 8).

9. Before expressing your interest to someone, what do you need to be convinced of?

9 So how long should you observe the person before telling them you are interested in them? If you tell him too soon, he may think you are impulsive (Prov. 29:20). But if the person notices your interest and you take too long to tell them, they may think you are indecisive (Eccl. 11:4). Remember that to express your interest to someone you don't need to be convinced that you are going to marry that person. But you do have to be convinced that you are ready for marriage and that this person could be the right one for you.

10. What should you do if you notice that someone is interested in you but you don't feel the same way?

10 What if you notice that someone is interested in you? What can you do? If you don't feel the same, try to make it clear with your actions. It would be very inconsiderate to let him get his hopes up if deep down there is no possibility (1 Cor. 10:24; Eph. 4:25).

12

11 In some places parents or other adult relatives are expected to choose whom a single person will marry. In other places, family or friends are in charge of finding a candidate for the bachelor or bachelorette, and then make plans for them to meet so they can see if they are compatible. If we are asked to do one of these things, let's take into account the preferences and needs of both people. If it seems to us that we have found a good person for our friend or family member, let us try to know as much as possible about his personality, his qualities and, above all, his spirituality. A good friendship with Jehovah is much more important than money, education, and social position. In any case, let us not forget that the final decision to marry or not to marry must be made by the single man and the single woman (Gal. 6:5).

HOW TO START A COURTAGE

12. If you would like to start a relationship with someone, how can you tell them?

12 If you would like to start a relationship with someone, how can you tell them?  Maybe you can have a conversation with that person, for example, in a public place, calling them on the phone or making a video call. Tell her clearly that you are interested in her and would like to get to know her better (1 Cor. 14:9). If she tells you that she needs to think about it, give her time (Prov. 15:28). And, if she tells you that she's not interested, she respects her feelings.

13. What can you do if someone tells you they are interested in you? (Colossians 4:6).

13 What can you do if someone tells you they are interested in you? Keep in mind that it took courage for him to tell you how he feels, so treat him with kindness and respect (read Colossians 4:6). If you need time to think about it, tell him. Of course, try to respond as soon as possible (Prov. 13:12). If you don't want to date this person, tell them tactfully and clearly. A brother from Austria named Hans explains what he did when a sister told him she wanted to get to know him better: “I kindly made it clear to her that he was not interested. I did it immediately so as not to give him false hope. And for the same reason from then on I was very careful with how I treated her.” On the other hand, if you are interested in starting a relationship with that person, talk to him or her about what you feel and what you hope dating will be like. Depending on culture and other factors, everyone's expectations can be very different.

HOW CAN WE SUPPORT SINGLES?

14. If we want to support singles, what should we do?

14 What can we all do to support singles who have the desire to get married? To begin with, be careful what we say (Eph. 4:29). Let's ask ourselves: “Do I usually make 'funny' comments to them? When I see a bachelor and a bachelorette talking, do I assume there is something between them?” (1 Tim. 5:13). On the other hand, let us never make a brother feel that he is missing something just because he is not married. Hans, mentioned in the previous paragraph, explains: “Some brothers say, 'Why don't you get married? Look, you're not so young anymore, you're going to get older.' “These comments only serve to make singles feel less valued and more pressured to get married.” Surely, it is much better to look for opportunities to say things that encourage them (1 Thes. 5:11).

15. a) According to Romans 15:2, what should we take into account before helping someone find a partner? (See also the image). b) What ideas from the video caught your attention? (See note).

 15 What if we think that a certain brother and a certain sister would make a nice couple? to). The Bible teaches that we should consider the feelings of others (read Romans 15:2).  b). Many singles do not want other people to introduce them to potential candidates, and we should respect their wishes (2 Thess. 3:11). Others may appreciate a little help, but we should only give it if they ask for it (Prov. 3:27). e And others prefer to be helped in less direct ways. A single sister from Germany named Lydia says, “You can include the brother and sister in a large group. You just create the opportunity for them to match and leave the rest to them.”

16. What should singles remember?

16 Whether we are single or married, we can all have a full and happy life (Ps. 128:1). So, if you want to get married but have not yet found a suitable person, continue to focus on your service to Jehovah. A sister from Macao named Sin Yi comments: “Compared to the time you can spend with your husband or wife in Paradise, singleness is a relatively short period. Enjoy it and make good use of it.” But what if you have already found a person and started dating them? In the next article we will talk about what you can do to have a successful courtship.

WHAT WOULD YOU ANSWER?

What things can help you find a suitable person to marry?

First and foremost, the person must be a Baptized Witness, and of course must have demonstrated loyalty to Jehovah. Turn to Jehovah for help so you can make decisions with patience and wisdom and find someone who has the appropriate spiritual qualities.

Why is it prudent that before starting a courtship with a person, you spend time observing them?

The feelings you have may disappear as easily as they came. That is why you have to be patient, you can observe that person how he acts in the spiritual aspect or in a social gathering. Know about theocratic goals and not be impulsive or indecisive.

How can the rest of the congregation support singles who want to get married?

Avoiding making uncomfortable comments that pressure singles to take the step, when they are not yet ready for that. There may be times when singles do not want to meet anyone, others may ask for a little help to do so. We must always respect the feelings of these brothers.