“The Lord forgave you generously, so do the same” (COL. 3:13).
1, 2. a) When is it possible that we find it difficult to forgive?
We may find it difficult to forgive when someone says or does something that causes us deep pain.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
It may be a little more difficult for us when something touches our hearts, when something causes us deep pain, whether because of something they have said or done.
1, 2. b) How did Denise show that she had forgiven?
Denise demonstrated her forgiveness by asking Jehovah to help her not be angry with the driver who caused the accident. Then, when he had to testify in court, instead of asking for severe punishment, he asked the judge to treat the man with mercy.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
For the response he gave to the judge after finding himself in such a serious situation, such as a traffic accident in which he lost part of his family and his children were seriously injured. However, when they asked him what he thought about what had happened, he asked the judge for mercy for that person.
We see that it is not normal, as the judge said, who burst into tears. He said: "I've been here for 25 years and I've never seen anything like this." It means that he recognized the value of this forgiveness.
She previously asked Jehovah to give her peace and help her forgive. We know how the power of prayer allows one to take steps in their life that are surprising.
In this whole process, it's not like much time passed and maybe I had gotten over it a little. She says she was devastated, confused, that it was like they had reopened that wound and poured salt on it. Really, it had to be something that was very difficult for her to do, but she managed to do it thanks to meditating on Jehovah's forgiveness.
She says an officer informed her that she had to testify and that her testimony would be key in determining the man's sentence. It was very important what she said, for or against; that was going to determine the driver's future. It is a true example of forgiveness, because even at that moment he could, so to speak, have taken revenge or expressed negative feelings so that this man would receive a much harsher sentence. However, he asked for mercy for him.
3. What helped Denise forgive?
What helped Denise forgive was meditating on Jehovah’s forgiveness, as highlighted in Micah 7:18, which describes God’s mercy and generosity in forgiving. Heartfelt gratitude for the forgiveness that Jehovah offers us motivates us to have the desire to forgive others.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
It helped him to meditate on Jehovah's forgiveness. Micah wrote that Jehovah forgives and does not cling to anger, but takes pleasure in loyal love. So surely this sister valued and appreciated that Jehovah is like this, and reflected the same desire to forgive.
Micah 7:18 says, "Who is a God like you, forgiving, passing over offenses?" This makes us think: "If every day I have to ask Jehovah for forgiveness for my faults, how can I not forgive?" By saying, "Jehovah, forgive me," He might respond, "How can I forgive you if you do not forgive your brother?" The important thing is to imitate Jehovah's forgiveness and do it in the best way.
Probably, because of our imperfection and our pain, as imperfect as we are, we can give in to unforgiveness, especially with so many drastic events that occur in life. But meditating on the fact that Jehovah has a loyal love for us, as sinners, and that he made an enormous sacrifice for us, helps us. Reflecting on this prompts us to forgive those who offend us.
When we forgive others and feel that desire, that is when we are truly showing that our hearts are grateful for Jehovah's forgiveness. So, by forgiving others, we show that we are truly grateful.
4. What does Jehovah want us to do? (Ephesians 4:32).
Jehovah wants us to imitate his generous forgiveness, being willing to forgive those who hurt us, as Ephesians 4:32 indicates. He expects us to show kindness and forgive from the heart, following his example.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
As Ephesians 4:32 says, Jehovah expects us to be willing to generously forgive those who hurt us.
Whatever the situation or the harm done to us, we must forgive just as Jehovah does.
Luke 17:4 says, “Even if he sins against you seven times a day and comes back to you seven times saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” Those words surely reminded the disciples of what Jesus said to Peter when he asked him if he should forgive only seven times, and Jesus answered, "Seventy times seven," which is like saying infinitely. In this way, Jehovah demonstrated and continues to demonstrate that there is no limit we should set to forgive our brothers.
Jehovah teaches us that forgiveness is part of love. In Ephesians 4:32 it says, "Treat each other with tenderness and compassion and forgive each other generously." That is what Jehovah wants: that, out of the love we feel towards all our brothers or our neighbors, we are determined to forgive and overlook the offenses of others.
As we see in 1 Peter 4:8, we are taught to have loyal love for one another, because loyal love is what will cover sins and help us leave things in Jehovah's hands, exchange anger for mercy, and free ourselves through forgiveness, to please Jehovah and receive the divine benefit of forgiveness and mercy through Christ.
DON'T IGNORE YOUR FEELINGS
5. How is it possible that we feel when someone offends us? (Proverbs 12:18).
When someone offends us, especially a close friend or family member, we can feel deep emotional pain, comparable to the blow of a sword, as Proverbs 12:18 says. This pain can be so intense that, if we try to ignore or repress it, it is like leaving a dagger stuck in a wound, preventing healing.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
We may feel deeply hurt in these circumstances and feel deep emotional pain, but, as the paragraph says, it is important that we do not ignore our feelings, because this is the first step in being able to heal.
And it hurts more when it comes from a friend, because we see how King David felt with his friend Ahithophel. She was someone close to him; He considered him a close friend. And this pain is not only because of the offense that had happened, but because I trusted him. Therefore, there are times when this pain makes us not even want to face those feelings.
Because ignoring it is not going to make the wound heal. We have to recognize that we are hurt, that we have been hurt, and see why we are like this. What has led us to this situation? And it is as the illustration says: if they stick a dagger into us, we will have to take it out; We cannot leave it there, because, if not, the wound will continue throughout life.
6. What can be the first reaction when someone offends us?
When someone offends us, our first reaction may be to get angry, something the Bible recognizes as natural. However, we are advised not to let anger dominate us, as emotions can lead to harmful actions.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Our first reaction may be to get angry, and of course, it is normal to feel that way. But we must not let those negative emotions dominate us, because in James 1:20 we read: "The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." Therefore, as the phrase goes: "Getting angry is a reaction, but staying angry is a choice."
In Ephesians 4:26 we are shown that the reaction of anger is a logical reaction. When someone hurts us, it is logical that we get angry. But it says there that the sun should not set while still in that state of provocation. Once we have recognized that this pain has been caused to us, we now have to do what we can to solve that situation.
It is very important that we do not allow ourselves to be dominated by these emotions, because sometimes these emotions can be transformed into actions and can cause us to do things that we later regret. For this reason, both Ephesians and the Psalm advise us to fix things, and although sometimes we are angry, it is better to analyze and meditate on things.
Psalm 4:4 says, "When you are upset, do not sin. Say what you want in your heart while you are in bed, and be silent." So we can go to bed, say whatever we want inside, say a prayer to Jehovah, try to see things from his point of view, and decide to stop being angry and forgive.
Getting angry is a reaction, but staying angry is a choice.
7. What other emotions are we likely to feel when someone hurts us?
When someone hurts us, in addition to anger, we can feel painful emotions such as abandonment, rejection, betrayal or deep sadness. For example, Ann felt abandoned and replaced by her father; Georgette felt her heart broken by her husband's infidelity; and Naomi felt deceived and betrayed when she discovered that her husband was secretly watching pornography.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
We are given the example of this sister, who when she was little, her father left her mother and married her nanny. So she says she felt like she was abandoned, but then she says that by having siblings, she felt replaced. Later, she says that she grew up feeling that no one loved her.
There is also the example of another sister who, when she found out that her husband was unfaithful, says that the emotion she felt was as if her heart was breaking, because they had known each other since they were children, they had even been pioneer companions. Logically, she felt heartbroken and betrayed.
It can be anger, a feeling of abandonment, someone feeling like they are being replaced, that they are heartbroken, that they have been deceived or betrayed. Well, all of these feelings can appear, or just one of them, when someone seriously offends us. So, we have to know how to identify them and begin to repair the damage they have done to us.
8. a) What are some of the reasons why we should forgive?
We must forgive because it is what Jehovah wants from us, and furthermore, holding resentment or anger only harms us emotionally and physically. When we don't forgive, we can act recklessly, neglect our health, and damage our relationships. This was explained by Christine, who noticed how pain affected her marriage, her well-being and her ability to control her emotions.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
The first and main reason is because of our love for Jehovah. Furthermore, He not only forgives us everything we do wrong, but He also likes us to forgive others.
Another benefit, which also benefits us a lot, is what Proverbs 14:30 says. There it says that a calm heart is life for the body, but jealousy is a disease that rots the bones. So it is also good, even for our health, both physical and mental, to forgive others.
We have the example of Proverbs 14:30: when you allow yourself to be dominated by pain, you smile less, you neglect your diet, you don't get enough sleep, you have a hard time controlling your emotions and, in the end, all of this ends up affecting your marriage and your relationship with others.
We must forgive not only because Jehovah asks us to, and since we love him we decide to forgive, but also because it is good for ourselves.
8. b) What benefits do we obtain by forgiving? (See the sidebar “What if what someone did caused me trauma?”)
By forgiving, we free ourselves from resentment and anger, allowing us to heal emotionally and move on without the person who hurt us continuing to have power over us. This does not mean minimizing offense or allowing abuse, but rather giving ourselves a valuable gift by letting go of resentment.
Furthermore, in forgiving we follow the advice of Psalm 55:22 to cast our burden on Jehovah, trusting that He, as a righteous judge, will deal with the person who wronged us in a much fairer way than we do.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
When we forgive, we put into practice the words of Psalm 55:22, casting our burden on Jehovah. In this way, we are freed from the resentment and hatred that surrounds us and can be at peace knowing that we are leaving the matter in Jehovah's hands.
Forgiveness does not mean that we minimize the mistake that the other person has committed against us, but rather that we freely choose to leave the resentment behind. Resentment is like a backpack full of stones that does not allow us to move forward; It is very heavy. That's why the Bible says: "Cast your burden on Jehovah, leave your problems in his hands, leave resentment behind, and that way you can move forward." It is the best gift we can give ourselves.
We may think that, by forgiving, we are allowing ourselves to be taken advantage of, but another idea is being conveyed here: that the person who caused us harm no longer has power over us, and thus we feel liberated.
When we feel disappointed or angry, we are not in control of the situation. However, with these tips presented in the box, what we do is that: take control of the situation again, take control of our feelings, and that way we will feel better.
The following example can be used: holding a grudge against someone is like wanting to harm a person by taking poison ourselves. We are going to continue hurting ourselves continuously, and the other person is not going to notice anything. Therefore, it is necessary that we do precisely that: that we forget and forgive.
By deciding to forgive, what we would be doing is a barter with Jehovah: we give Jehovah our problems, concerns or the situation that has happened, and He will give us, in return, peace. What we will achieve is to rebuild our lives in a better way.
9. Why should we get rid of resentment?
We must get rid of resentment, because clinging to it fills our hearts with bitterness and prevents us from enjoying life. This is illustrated by the experience of Georgette, who found peace by freeing herself from resentment towards her ex-husband. By letting go of resentment, we give ourselves a gift, allowing ourselves to heal, move forward, and live with joy, as Proverbs 11:17 suggests.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Because in this way we prevent our hearts from being filled with bitterness, and as Proverbs 11:17 mentions, we are benefiting ourselves, since we can move on and enjoy life again.
Georgette says she felt a deep peace after forgiving, so she gave herself that gift: to be able to start living at peace with herself again.
TRY TO TURN THE PAGE
10. Why do we need time to heal emotional wounds? (See also images).
We need time to heal emotional wounds, because, just as a person who suffers a serious accident requires time to recover physically, emotional wounds also need a healing period. This time allows us to process the pain and be ready to forgive from the heart.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Emotional wounds take time, just like physical ones, but if we try to love from the heart, as 1 Peter 1:22 says, over time it will be easier to forgive and have inner peace.
Forgiving is not easy at all, that is why we need time for the pain to heal, overcome the pain and heal ourselves spiritually, so that it is easier to comply with Jehovah's request to forgive.
In the image we see a very good example: having had an accident and having suffered some type of injury. This is going to take us a while to recover, as we see in the image, where rehabilitation is being done. All of this takes a process; There are times it is longer, other times shorter, and we see that in the end the wounds from that accident have healed, and we can now walk happy and content.
When someone hurts us, everything takes a process. We need time for rehabilitation, time to heal those wounds, and then be able to walk happily again. But we know that getting to that point, in the end, involves forgiving and forgetting.
We have to be patient with ourselves, because if we suffer an accident, obviously it will take a while until we go to the doctor and recover, because we see that it is something physical. But when it's something emotional, sometimes it's harder to recognize. So, we have to be patient with ourselves, because Jehovah is patient too.
It is very important that we take our time for everything, because we may think that we are ready to forgive, and yet, we are not. It may be that the wound has healed superficially, as happens with literal wounds. But, as Ecclesiastes says, we must know that there is a time for everything and a time, precisely, to heal.
ILLUSTRATION
Images of an injured brother who recovers over time. 1. The paramedics take him away in an ambulance. 2. Receive physical therapy to walk again. 3. Walk upright and confident.
When someone suffers a serious accident, they need proper care and time to heal. The same thing happens with emotional wounds. (See paragraph 10).
11. How can prayer help us forgive?
Prayer can help us forgive, because by asking Jehovah to give us the strength to do so, we receive his support in overcoming pain and resentment. As Ann's experience illustrates, praying for forgiveness from everyone in her family helped her write a letter forgiving her father and his wife, despite how difficult it was.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Prayer can help us, first, forgive ourselves, as in Ann's case. She explains it very well. He says he asked Jehovah to forgive everyone in the family for things they didn't handle well. So she included herself in the prayer and then took the action of forgiving others: her father and his new wife. Then, he told them that he forgave them. This shows us how we, too, should forgive, and may move others to come to know Jehovah.
In these prayers that we make to Jehovah, asking him for forgiveness or to help us forgive, it is important to be specific and tell him our feelings: tell him how we feel, the damage that has been done to us, why we need him to help us forgive and explain the case of the specific person. That way, when we talk to Jehovah about these things directly, we will see how he gives us enough strength so that we ourselves can make the decision to forgive.
12. Why should we trust in Jehovah and not our feelings? (Proverbs 3:5, 6).
We must trust in Jehovah and not in our feelings, because He always knows what is best for us and encourages us to forgive for our own good. While, if we let ourselves be guided by our feelings, we may never be able to forgive.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Because Jehovah knows what is best for us and will never ask us for something that will harm us. Therefore, when he encourages us to forgive, we can be sure that it is for our good.
Psalm 40:4 says, "Happy is the man who trusts in Jehovah and does not turn to the insolent or the false." Therefore, we have to follow the guidance that Jehovah gives us, because resentment or anger does not benefit us at all; On the contrary, they can harm our health.
Jeremiah 17:9 talks about the heart being more treacherous than anything else. So, if we let ourselves be carried away by our feelings, the most logical thing is that it would be very difficult for us to forgive, and we might not even be able to do so.
In Isaiah 55:8, 9, we are told that Jehovah's thoughts are not our thoughts, and his ways are not our ways. So, for this reason, we must trust Him, because His way of seeing things is infinitely wiser and more just than ours. He will always see the big picture, while our feelings are very limited and influenced by the pain we feel.
Naomi makes a very interesting argument. He says that he justified himself by thinking that Jehovah understood his feelings—and he certainly does—but that does not mean that he approves of them. Therefore, what we must always keep in mind is to become forgiving, as Jehovah is.
Going back to the example of this person who had suffered a serious accident—which is like when we suffer such great pain—we do not imagine that person taking care of himself; she needs to go to the doctor, she is not in a position to make decisions or cure herself. Well, in these cases it is the same: we are hurt, we are bad, we will surely not make good decisions, so it is the best time to let ourselves be guided by the best doctor who can take care of our heart: Jehovah.
CULTIVATE POSITIVE EMOTIONS
13. According to Romans 12:18-21, what must we do?
According to Romans 12:18-21, we must strive to live in peace with others, replacing anger and resentment with love and mercy. This includes not returning evil for evil, but rather acting kindly and forgiving those who have hurt us.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
The goal is to make peace and live in peace with each other. Matthew 5:23, 24 highlights that, before presenting an offering, it is important to go make peace with your brother. There we see how important it is, not to simply stop talking about the subject or ignore the person, but to make peace with them.
We do not have to let anger dominate us. Jehovah does not want us to take revenge; rather, it encourages us to wait and control ourselves. He wants us to trust Him and let Him act, because He will soon correct all these injustices.
14. What should we strive to do, and why?
We should strive to see the person who offended us as Jehovah sees him, focusing on his good qualities. This will help us forgive more easily.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
See the person who offended us as Jehovah sees him. Just as Psalm 130:3 says, "If you kept a record of errors, O Lord, who could stand?" So we all make mistakes. If we look for the good in this person, we will find it, and if we look for the bad, we will also find it. It all depends on our approach. Therefore, if we look at the qualities that this person has, it is easier for us to forgive them.
How easy it is that, when someone does something bad to us, we focus on the bad thing, but that is the mistake we should try to avoid. We have to see that brother as Jehovah sees him, and that requires dedication and effort on our part.
We should stop and think about the good qualities that our siblings have, and thus, by focusing on the positive, we will be able to feel better about ourselves.
Jarrod says he finds it easier to forgive a brother when he compares the bad things he did with all the good things he likes about him. And this is very easy to say, but the point is that, when we are damaged, the good disappears, we do not see it, but it must be the opposite. Each brother who is among Jehovah's people has a lot of value for Jehovah, and they should also have it for us.
15. Why is it good for you to tell the person that you forgave them?
It is important to tell the person that you have forgiven them, because expressing those words confirms our genuine forgiveness and can have a great impact on both parties. Naomi experienced how, by saying 'I forgive you', both she and her husband experienced relief and peace, allowing them to regain trust and improve their relationship.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
It is important because that will make us feel much better. Sometimes it may take time, as in the case of this sister, who says she tried, but realized she wasn't ready yet. However, when he did, he says what he felt was peace. So, both for the other person and for ourselves, it is good to say that we have forgiven them, because that will also serve as a conviction that we have carried out that action.
In the sister's case, she says she couldn't say it, but over time she could. Because? Because, as Jesus said, what we have in our hearts is what we then say with our mouths. Therefore, the sister had to heal her heart, heal those wounds, to be willing to forgive and say those words. And in the end, it was a blessing for both her and her family.
One may think: "Well, I've forgiven him, the relationship is going a little better, it's a given that I've forgiven him." But the paragraph is encouraging us to say: "I have forgiven you," because that marks a before and after. So how good it is to say it—"I have forgiven you"—and not just take it for granted.
16. What have you learned about forgiveness?
Jehovah wants us to show forgiveness. Although forgiving can be difficult, we can do it if we follow the steps we have learned: not ignoring our feelings, making an effort to turn the page, and cultivating positive emotions. These steps will help us forgive from the heart, just as Jehovah expects of us.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
We learned that Jehovah wants us to forgive as He forgives us, and as Colossians 3:13 says, we need to continue to bear with each other and forgive each other generously.
The first thing is not to ignore the feelings we have. It is mentioned that, if we do not recognize them, the wound will not heal. It's as if someone stuck a dagger in us and we kept it there; It is clear that this wound will never heal.
The second thing is to try to turn the page, and we can do this by giving ourselves time to heal, asking Jehovah to help us combat resentment, and fully trusting Him, and not our feelings.
Finally, we must cultivate positive emotions, and we do this by striving to see the person as Jehovah sees them. We must also ask Jehovah to help us forgive that person, and finally, tell him that we have forgiven him.
THINK ABOUT THE BENEFITS OF FORGIVING
17. How does forgiving benefit us?
Forgiveness has many benefits, including:
1. We imitate and please Jehovah, our Father, who is merciful.
2. We show gratitude for the generous forgiveness that Jehovah grants us.
3. We improve our health and cultivate stronger friendships by releasing resentment and anger.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
On the one hand, it improves our friendship with Jehovah because we are doing what He asks of us. As Luke 6:36 says: "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful", so we are also imitating Him and that brings us closer to Him.
We show that we appreciate the forgiveness that Jehovah shows us every day, as Matthew 6:12 says, that just as He forgives us, we also have to forgive.
If we forgive, we will have better health and stronger friendships.
18, 19. What can happen if we forgive?
By forgiving, we can reap unexpected benefits. In Denise's case, her gesture of forgiveness moved the driver so much that he began studying the Bible with the witnesses. Although forgiveness may seem like one of the most difficult things to do, it can also be one of the most valuable, bringing blessings to both the forgiver and the forgiven.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
What can happen is that we see benefits that we did not expect. For example, we see the case of Sister Denise, who we talked about at the beginning. She didn't know that the man who had the accident was planning to commit suicide, but he was so impressed by the sister's forgiveness that he even began studying the Bible!
Jesus included it in one of the keys to being happy, as Matthew 5:7 says: be merciful, be forgiving. And this phrase that comes at the end is like a frame: it says: "It may be the most difficult thing we have to do in life, but it is definitely worth it."
When we imitate Jehovah's forgiveness, we are undoubtedly trying to imitate the quality that He has. In this way, we come to identify more with the qualities that He has, and without a doubt that will make us and those around us happier.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
Why shouldn't you ignore your feelings?
We should not ignore our feelings because doing so would be like leaving a wound untreated. If we do not admit what we feel, we will not be able to heal emotionally. Ignoring pain can cause us to carry it with us persistently, affecting our emotional health and our relationships.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
Repressing feelings would do us no good; we have to throw them out. It is better not to keep our feelings bottled up, as if a dagger was stabbed in us that will stay with us for a lifetime. So we have to free ourselves by telling Jehovah how we feel.
If we do not recognize that we feel hurt, we will not be able to overcome those feelings, and therefore, we will not be able to forgive from the heart.
Some may be afraid to take out the knife because they think it may hurt more at that moment, it is true, it may hurt more, but it is the only way we can truly heal.
What will help you turn the page?
To turn the page, it will help us, first, to let time pass, since emotional wounds, like physical ones, need time to heal; second, pray to Jehovah to give us strength to forgive, which helps us free ourselves from resentment; and third, trust in Jehovah instead of our feelings, knowing that He guides us to the best.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
One of the things we can do is give ourselves time, because true forgiveness takes time for our feelings to heal. Thus, by offering that forgiveness, we will be clear that it will be strong and not fragile, in case at some point they also fail us again, and thus we will be able to continue exercising that forgiveness.
We need to ask Jehovah for help in prayer to help us forgive, because if not, it would not be possible. We must trust Him, that He will fix things. If we can't solve them, He will do it in due time or in the future.
It is very interesting to give ourselves time, because sometimes they do something so strong to us that we think it is unforgivable. But knowing that we need time means we never close the door to forgiveness. We know that we need time and that the next step will be to forgive. We don't know when, but we didn't close that door.
What can you do to cultivate positive emotions?
To cultivate positive emotions, we can strive to see the person who offended us as Jehovah sees him, focusing on his good qualities rather than his mistakes. It is also helpful to pray to Jehovah for help in forgiving and following his example of mercy. Additionally, talking to the person and expressing that you have forgiven them can also strengthen positive emotions and restore the relationship.
ADDITIONAL COMMENTS
We have seen that we must strive to see the person as Jehovah sees him, highlighting the good qualities that person also has. We must ask Jehovah to continue helping us to forgive them, and when we are ready, tell the person that we have forgiven them.
The most important thing is to try to preserve the peace and not try to take revenge by returning evil for evil.
The article ends with a very positive reasoning. He says that perhaps forgiveness is one of the most difficult things we can do, but also one of the most beneficial. And, as Matthew 5:7 tells us, we will be happy if we are merciful.
Let us strive to be like Jehovah and truly forgive.
Comments
Post a Comment