Watchtower Study, How to Find a Suitable Person to Marry, Week July 29 to August 4, 2024, Comments and Responses.

Watchtower Study, How to Find a Suitable Person to Marry, July 29, August 4, 2024, Comments and Responses.

“Who can find a competent wife? She is worth much more than corals” (PROV. 31:10).

1, 2. a) If a Christian has the desire to get married, what should he think about before taking any step?

You must be prepared spiritually, economically and emotionally.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

Before taking any steps toward marriage, a Christian must be prepared spiritually, financially, and emotionally. This will increase the chances of having a happy marriage.

The brother has to prepare well because if he wants to get a wife, as Proverbs 31:10 says, who can find a competent wife who is worth much more than corals, then he himself also has to be that coral too to find a coral sister too. .

In the article that follows the note there is a lot of information on how you can ask yourself if you are really prepared for that point, such as my relationship with the family when I am stressed above all, your spirit of sacrifice, your humility, your way of managing money. and all of these are included, of course, spiritual health and all of them are very important points when making a decision to start thinking about having a relationship with someone. First, we have to check this entire state of ours to know if it is the right one.

And I really like how this article ends because it tells us that whoever marries you deserves a person who is a good husband or a good wife nothing less than that, so if you strive to be that kind of person it is likely that someone who is doing the same thing can notice him.

And in this article that mentions these paragraphs there is a very interesting reflection that says in a few words if you think you are ready to date someone you should also think that you are ready to get married, so it is a reflection to meditate on. 

1, 2. b) What do we mean when we talk about courtship? (See “Big Idea”).

When we talk about courtship, we refer to a stage of relationship in which two people get to know each other better with the intention of evaluating whether they are compatible for marriage. It's a time to set expectations and communicate about what you want the relationship to be like. During courtship, it is important that both are clear about what they expect from each other and that they respect each other's feelings and decisions.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

When both the man and the woman have made it clear that there is a mutual interest between them, then the purpose is to get to know each other to decide whether they are going to get married or rather leave the relationship.

Because it establishes very well what the difference is between courtship and commitment, that is, one thing is courtship, which is for two people to get to know each other, and commitment, which is a commitment to get married.

It also makes a little distinction between what perhaps this world thinks when they talk about courtship in which there are already certain circumstances that even the Bible does not approve of what courtship is based on in the scriptures.

If you have no intention of getting married, then logically for a Christian it would not be an acceptable thing. 

IMPORTANT IDEA: 

In this article and the next, when we talk about courtship, we are referring to the period in which a man and a woman get to know each other better in order to determine if they would be compatible as husband and wife. Courtship begins when a man and a woman make it clear that there is mutual interest and continues until they either commit to getting married or decide to end the relationship. To refer to this period, in some places expressions such as getting to know each other, dating, going out with someone, dating, starting a relationship or becoming engaged are also used.

HOW TO LOOK FOR A RIGHT PERSON FOR YOU

3. What should a single Christian think about before starting to look for a person to marry?

Before starting to look for a person to marry, the single Christian must be clear about what he wants the person he will marry to be, including the qualities and goals that he considers essential, and it is important to evaluate if the person he is interested in is really compatible. with their expectations and values.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

The person must be clear about the idea they have of which person they want to marry and what type of person, above all it is essential that they be a baptized witness and that is why the paragraph says that it is good for them to ask themselves some questions about what the goals that life has, also what qualities you have and whether they belong to the person you are looking for or not, and also, above all, whether the expectations are reasonable.

And this is important to be clear about because just like when we go somewhere without having clear ideas, it is easy for us to be deceived or to take the first thing that happens, so if we are clear about what we want, we can take advantage of it and see the right person. or not let ourselves be fooled.

4. What have some singles included in their prayers?

Some singles have included in their prayers the qualities they seek in a partner, as well as asking for opportunities to meet someone. They also ask Jehovah to help them cultivate the qualities necessary to be a good husband or wife, and to provide them with patience and wisdom during their search.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

It is an issue that will condition a person's entire life. It is a very important issue to choose the right person to share your life because it is logical to pray to Jehovah because those feelings that one has, we know that Jehovah always helps us. to listen, he will listen to whoever asks for anything that is always according to his will because when a brother or sister asks Jehovah to give him wisdom and patience to find the person he is already doing something that Jehovah wants to put first. place the interests that Jehovah wants me to share with that person, then we know that Jehovah is not going to help us choose a partner but he is going to give us the wisdom to be able to do so.

And I also find interesting the comment of this brother from the United States where he mentions that in his prayers he includes Jehovah that the sister who, as a future wife, that he finds will have certain qualities that he looks for in her, but he is very balanced and very reasonable because he not only asks that of the other person but also asks Jehovah to help him cultivate in himself the necessary qualities to make a good husband, so these are also things that can be included in the prayers.

This sister Tania who asked to be faithful, positive and happy because sometimes time passes and that person does not appear and one continues praying to Jehovah, she continues pouring out her heart and that person does not appear, but at the end of the paragraph she says that Jehovah is going to give us everything what we need to feel well and complete, so be patient.

The fact is that we cannot look for perfection because we are not going to find that, but if they are two people who are spiritual, they are going to apply those principles that Jehovah has marked in the Bible, then the marriage may go quite well because they are applying that. They have put Jehovah, as the triple cord says, in their lives and although things arise, they will always solve them the way Jehovah wants. 

Well, Psalm 62:8 encourages us to pour out our hearts to Jehovah, which has been mentioned, to express what we want, what we feel, and then James 1:5, because it tells us that if we lack wisdom and other qualities, patience, we should ask God for it. Jehovah because he says that he is generous when he also gives them and that he also does it without reproach.

We also have Psalm 55:22 which says to cast our burden on Jehovah and he will sustain us and of course it is possible that what we are talking about perhaps for longer than expected they are waiting to get married or have a sister and so there should be no doubt. It is that he will still be able to be happy by casting his burden on Jehovah since he will support him at that moment, as the paragraph also says, both in a physical and emotional sense, Jehovah will take care of him.

5. What will help singles meet people who love Jehovah? (1 Corinthians 15:58; see also image).

To help singles meet people who love Jehovah, the Bible advises being “very busy in the work of the Lord.” By following this advice, singles will have the opportunity to spend time with many brothers and sisters in the faith, which will not only allow them to enjoy good friendships, but also meet other singles who share their desire to serve Jehovah.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

Well, the more time he spends with the brothers, the more opportunities he will have if he only interacts with the brothers in the meeting, because it will be more complicated, which is why they do not dare to be busy in the work of the Lord because in this way he will meet others. brothers who are also busy in the work of the Lord, which will be a good option.

And that is what you see in the accompanying photograph, both the brother and the sister are busy working with the congregation but also perhaps in construction or in any other facet of service to Jehovah that will allow them to do so. interact with other brothers not only from your congregation but from other congregations and perhaps among these brothers you can find what that companion is looking for.

Well, we see that they are following The example of first Corinthians 15:58 they are keeping themselves very busy. You see the sister who is preaching happily along with another sister. The brother is accompanying a shepherding visit to another elder and they do all that and they don't. It is in vain, I mean, thanks surely to all the work they do every day, both brothers are now working on the same construction. It is clear that they are spiritual and all those qualities that they are putting into practice will help them later.

And also how you will be doing everything possible to please Jehovah will be truly happy for your entire life.

ILLUSTRATION

Series of images: 1. A single sister chats animatedly with an older sister as they preach together. 2. The single sister serves food at a construction project for our organization. 3. A single brother accompanies an elder during a shepherding visit to a couple. 4. The single brother drives a machine on the same construction project. If you remain focused on serving Jehovah, you will meet many brothers, and some of them may also have a desire to get married. (See paragraph 5).

6. What should singles who are looking for a partner remember?

Singles who are looking for a partner should remember that, regardless of their marital status, everyone can have a full and happy life. It is important that if you want to get married but have not yet found the right person, you should continue to focus on your service to Jehovah.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

Well, we have to remember that finding a partner should not become the most important thing in our life because what really makes a Christian happy is not the fact of being single and married but rather being a friend of Jehovah, as Matthew 5:3 says, happy are those who recognize their needs. spiritual because the kingdom of heaven is theirs.

And just as marriage is a gift, singleness is also another gift, so as Philippians 1:10 says, we make sure which things are the most important, we can enjoy the gift of singleness, further expanding our service to Jehovah, making the most of it, and that is what that will give us true happiness. 

As this Sister says, although I wanted to get married, what helped me to be happy was to concentrate on preaching, the truth is that there are so many things to do in Jehovah's people in the service of Jehovah that one can be completely satisfied and concentrated doing things with great taste and the truth is that the example that this sister tells us applies to absolutely all singles.

We also see in first Corinthians 7:32 and 333 that single people have more freedom to expand their service to Jehovah, as the text says. The man who is not married can worry more about the things of the Lord and how to earn his approval, but The married man has to worry about the things of this world and earning the approval of his wife, so before that moment of greatest worries arrives, he can expand his relationship with Jehovah and his service, which he will greatly enjoy.

TAKE YOUR TIME TO OBSERVE THE PERSON

7. Why is it prudent that before expressing your interest in a person, you spend time observing them? (Proverbs 13:16).

It is wise to spend time observing a person before expressing interest because the Bible teaches that a wise person first acquires knowledge and then acts, so by taking the time to discreetly observe the other person, you can evaluate their character, spirituality, and goals. , which helps avoid impulsive decisions. This allows the interested party to determine if it is really the right person for him or her, and prevents them from jumping into a relationship without a proper understanding of the other person.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

Like everything in life it is important not to rush and we are talking about something very important which is looking for a partner, so as we have read we have to take time before telling a person that you like you, that is, that you like them, you should not rush in that sense. and what you have to do is observe and see what that person is like because as I said in this experience, feelings come and go, maybe there is a young person who likes a person but over time realizes that they are not compatible, so it is better Stop, don't rush, and observe the behavior of the person you like.

And as we have read in proverbs it said that the prudent act with knowledge that is what shows that he is a wise person because first he sees well if it really is what he thinks from the beginning and then he acts.

8. How can a single man observe a person he is interested in? (See also the image).

A single man can observe a person he is interested in in several discreet ways. For example, he may pay attention to his behavior at the Kingdom Hall or at social gatherings. It is useful to observe how he interacts with others, what topics he discusses and who his friends are, as this can give clues about his character and values.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

Additionally, the single person can speak with elders in the congregation or other mature Christians who know the person well, to obtain references about his or her reputation and qualities, but it is important that, when observing, the single person respects the privacy and personal space of the person. the other person, making sure not to make them feel uncomfortable.

For example, you can observe in a social gathering or in the kingdom hall meeting the way of being or acting of that person and their spirituality.

And in the image you can see how these two single people, in the first, the sister pays attention to how the brother talks to an elderly couple, doing so discreetly, and in the second, the brother pays attention to the sister while she participates in a demonstration in the meeting during the week, then this detail is interesting that when observing the person you must make sure not to make them feel uncomfortable and respect their feelings, privacy and personal space.

Proverb 20:18 also says that success requires good communication and expert guidance, so we can talk to mature brothers who know them well, whether they are elders of the congregation or another brother, so they can tell us what qualities that person has and also So being able to get to know her a little better.

And also because we know that when there is a certain preference, a certain taste, then the heart quickly becomes involved and perhaps those feelings cloud the reason and it does not see certain things, which is why consulting with others who can see things in a very objective way can help you. help you be clear if you are the right person or not.

Yes, it is mentioned, as Boaz answered Ruth, they have told me in detail everything you have done with your mother-in-law since your husband died and that you left your father and mother and left your homeland to live with a people you did not know. I mean, before asking Ruth, Boaz provided himself with all this information about all these qualities and without a doubt he chose well because he was later an ancestor of Jesus himself.

If you could see people's hearts, it would be easy to determine if it is appropriate or appropriate for the person, since it cannot be done, you have to do what we are mentioning, look, observe because it says a lot about the person who their friends are, what they are doing. speaking, what are his preferences, if he has a goal that is similar to yours or has other goals that are very different from yours because as Luke 6:45 says, the mouth always speaks about what is in the heart, so we cannot see the heart but somehow what is in the heart is revealed by behavior. 

And precisely in line with this observation, we also have to make sure, as it says at the end of the paragraph, that it is very interesting that the person does not feel uncomfortable, that they do not feel completely there, observed, that we seem to be looking at all the things, we must respect, as it says. Here your space, your privacy and your feelings. 

And the paragraph also comments on several questions that we can ask ourselves, for example, who are his friends, what things does he talk about, are his goals similar to yours, how does he approach problems when they come up when he deals with siblings like he does, does he talk to older people with young people, in short lots of questions that each of us should ask ourselves in order to make a better x-ray regarding that person.

ILLUSTRATION

Images of the two bachelors in the previous images discreetly observing each other at the Kingdom Hall. 1. The sister notices how the brother converses with an elderly couple. 2. The brother notices the sister as she participates in a demonstration at the midweek meeting. Before telling a person that you are interested in them, he spends some time observing them discreetly. (See paragraphs 7 and 8).

9. Before expressing your interest to someone, what do you need to be convinced of?

Before expressing your interest to someone, you must be convinced that you are ready for marriage and that this person could be right for you. This involves having a clear understanding of our own goals and expectations in a relationship, as well as an assessment of whether the other person shares similar values ​​and objectives, and although we do not need to be completely sure that you are going to marry that person, But it is essential that we have the willingness and emotional maturity to consider a serious relationship.

Well, we must be convinced that we are prepared to get married for marriage and perhaps when we meet the person you see that you are not going to marry him or her, that is why we do not have to be convinced but rather that we are prepared for marriage and that perhaps that person could be the right one for us. 

10. What should you do if you notice that someone is interested in you but you don't feel the same way?

If we notice that someone is interested in us but we don't feel the same, it is important that we be clear and honest with that person. We must make it clear with our actions and words, avoiding giving false hope, since it would be inconsiderate to allow the person to get excited if there is no possibility of a relationship.

Well, you should try to make it clear with your actions that you are not interested because it would be very inconsiderate as you say and also painful for the other person who gets their hopes up. In the first letter to the Corinthians 10:24 it says that no one should seek his own benefit but that of others, so you have to think about the other person.

11. What should be taken into account in places where the customs mentioned in the paragraph exist?

In places where there are customs related to marriage, the preferences and needs of both people involved must be taken into account. This includes considering whether parents or adult relatives are expected to choose the partner, or whether friends and family seek candidates for singles. It is important to know well the personality, qualities and spirituality of the person you are considering as a partner, since a good relationship with Jehovah is more important than factors such as money, education or social position.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

It so happens that in some countries it is the parents and other relatives who choose who they are going to marry, well, they also remember a little that if they are witnesses, these parents or relatives have to take into account everything we have seen previously to choose. the spouse, but then also because it speaks of Galatians 6:5 that each one will carry his or her own burden of responsibility and it is recommended that they take into account the opinion of their son or daughter.

And it is very interesting that the paragraph refers to taking into account the preferences and needs of the two people. Maybe if we have to choose a partner for our son, our daughter, then we are going to want her to be the best in the world, we are not going to Maybe we want it to be, but we also have to take into account that our son or our daughter has to be a good partner for that person. It is important that those two things are taken into account. And as the paragraph says, especially spirituality, that is going to be the main thing.

And there is one thing that catches my attention because it says that in these places where there are these habits, families choose who their sons or daughters are going to marry, but in the case of Christians of the Witnesses, in these places there may be people involved in looking for a possible spouse for him or her but they do not decide on the wedding, they simply do everything possible, they make preparations so that they can meet each other so that all of this that we are talking about happens, but in the end the people involved are the ones who decide if they are going to get married or not. no, it's not them. 

HOW TO START A COURTAGE

12. If you would like to start a relationship with someone, how can you tell them?

If I would like to start a relationship with someone, I could tell them this way: I would find a suitable time to have a conversation in a public place or through a phone or video call. I would tell her clearly that I am interested in her and that I would like to get to know her better. If she needs time to think about it, she would give her that space, and if she tells me she's not interested, she would respect her feelings and move on graciously.

Well, it mentions the paragraph having a conversation with that person, perhaps in a public place or calling them on the phone, making a video call, but it says that you have to make it very clear that you are interested in that person and that you would like to get to know them better.

Well, for example, we are encouraged to act with sagacity, that is, with caution, thinking about what we do. We also talk about the impression that one makes, that is, what one reflects to the other person and, above all, because, as the paragraph also says, give time for that person to be able to decide for themselves whether or not they want to continue with that relationship and if they are not interested, then respect what they say.

Yes, the article is also indicating if we go into details if it is okay for the woman to take the initiative, that is, it has to be the man or it can be the woman, in these cases it is saying that in biblical times, for example, Ruth, a woman fearful of God raised the question of marriage to Boaz, so God blessed her in these situations, what is being indicated here, what we have to see in the other person is that he is a person like we are seeing, that he is spiritual.

13. What can you do if someone tells you they are interested in you? (Colossians 4:6).

If someone told me they were interested in me, the first thing I would do is acknowledge the courage they had in expressing their feelings. I would try to respond with kindness and respect, following the advice of Colossians 4:6. If I need time to think about your proposal, I would tell you clearly and kindly, making sure you know I appreciate your sincerity.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

I would also strive to respond as soon as possible, as it is important not to leave the other person in uncertainty. If I ultimately decide that I am not interested, I would communicate this tactfully, so that she feels valued and respected, even though I do not share the same feelings.

Well, the first thing is to recognize the courage you have had to do that and as Colossians said, let the words be pleasant, even if it is not what we expected, there is no need to be sharp or anything like that and if it takes time, the person needs time to think about it so tell him clearly.

It says here if you don't want to date that person tell them tactfully and clearly but we can also think if someone opens up take their heart in your hands then we want to be respectful and kind if we also don't have the same feelings but we say in a good way.

Two qualities are highlighted here, kindness and respect, one way to show respect for the other person is surely not making it public, not explaining to other people what that person has told you even if your answer is no and a way to show kindness It would also be as the paragraph says, if the answer is no, then do not give false hope and be very careful how to treat that person and if it is yes, as it says at the end of the paragraph, then simply talk about what you feel and What do you expect dating to be like?

HOW CAN WE SUPPORT SINGLES?

14. If we want to support singles, what should we do?

If we want to support singles, we need to be careful about what we say and how we behave. It's important to avoid comments that might seem funny or that assume there's something between a bachelor and a bachelorette just because they're talking. 

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

We must remember not to make single people feel like they are missing something just because they are not married. Instead, it is better to look for opportunities to encourage them and make them feel valued, recognizing that they can have a full and happy life without needing to be in a relationship.

If Ephesians 4:29 encourages us that everything we say was to edify and benefit those who are listening to us and we don't want to perhaps be funny or a little nicer than necessary, then let's make a comment that we may be hurting that person. 

Or sometimes we feel that we have trust with these brothers and then we worry that they are still single and that they cannot find that person and it is a way for them to feel like they are incomplete that they are missing something but first you get a license from us. It encourages them to encourage and edify them, perhaps congratulating them for remaining faithful to Jehovah and not thinking of a person outside of Jehovah's people to fulfill that desire.

Normally single men and women are single for two reasons because they are doing this, they are searching, perhaps because they are interested and doing very well but they can't find anything and then things drag on or simply because they have directly chosen not to get married due to other goals that they have. Two things are very respectable, so these misleading and discouraging comments are irrelevant.

15. a) According to Romans 15:2, what should we take into account before helping someone find a partner? (See also the image).

According to Romans 15:2, before helping someone find a partner, we must take into account that person's feelings and desires. It is essential to be sensitive to what the other person really wants and needs, and not impose our own ideas or preferences. This means listening carefully and respecting her autonomy in making decisions about her love life.

Well, we must take into account the feelings and what these people want because some people, as it says here, do not like being presented with candidates or being talked to about these issues, and yet others may appreciate being helped, so yes. We take those feelings into account because we can give them the help they want and if not, it is better to do nothing.

ILLUSTRATION

Precisely, we have already talked in previous paragraphs about how it was really very important to invite the brothers to a social gathering and that is what they are doing here. They have created an opportunity where the brothers and themselves coincide because they can get to know each other and they were the ones who should to decide. 

15. b) What ideas from the video caught your attention? (See note).

For example, the idea that we should not assume that because a brother is single he has a lot of free time, or the fact that if we see a couple of singles talking we should not assume that they are interested or make advances, and even want to pretend matchmakers and telling a single man that we want to introduce him to sisters, that is very wrong.

Well, at first the video may seem like a bit of humor to us because we are seeing the situation of this supermarket that is going to be from one congregation to another and the situations in which they find themselves, but they are real situations, so we have to be careful not to do certain jokes, not because I'm talking to a sister, thinking that I already want to have an interest in her or even how this older sister came out, trying to trick her into introducing her to lunch with all the possible candidates are situations that can be very uncomfortable and What we have to take into account so that this does not happen.

16. What should singles remember?

Singles should remember that regardless of their marital status, everyone can have a full and happy life. It is essential that you focus on your relationship with Jehovah and your service to Him, as this will provide you with satisfaction and purpose, and singleness is a relatively short period compared to the time you can spend with a spouse in the future, for example. what is important is to enjoy and make the most of this stage of their lives.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

Well, you must remember the words that we read in Psalm 128 how happy is he who loves you, Jehovah and walks in his way, so the single person who has not yet found a person to marry can become very happy if he focuses on what that he has and in the service of Jehovah.

And as this sister mentions, in comparison, the time we are going to spend with our partner in paradise is going to be much more than staying single, which is relatively short, because we have to take advantage of it and enjoy it. 

WHAT WOULD YOU ANSWER?

What things can help you find a suitable person to marry?

To find a suitable person to marry, it is essential to clearly define our expectations and desired qualities, engage in congregational activities to meet other singles, and maintain constant communication with Jehovah through prayer about our desires and needs.

Talk to Jehovah in prayer about our feelings and thoughts, but we can also dedicate ourselves fully to serving Jehovah because this can open up opportunities for us to meet other people. 

Why is it prudent that before starting a courtship with a person, you spend time observing them?

It is prudent to spend time observing a person before starting a relationship because this allows us to know their character, values ​​and goals, which helps determine if they are really compatible with us and avoids impulsive decisions.

Yes, because there we can see details about their way of acting, who their friends are, perhaps you can even talk to the elders of their congregation about the reputation they have and what goals and qualities they should also have.

How can the rest of the congregation support singles who want to get married?

The rest of the congregation can support singles who want to get married by fostering a positive environment, avoiding inappropriate comments about their marital status, and creating opportunities for them to interact naturally in group activities, always respecting their wishes and preferences.

Well, we saw that first Timothy 5:13 said we should not be gossips or get involved in other people's affairs, so we must be careful with our words and if we see a single man and a single woman talking, then do not assume that there is something between them and Also, don't make humorous comments or make them feel that something is missing because they are not married because that can make them rush and marry the wrong person.