The Watchtower Study, "Article 22", Week 5 to August 11, 2024, How to Find a Suitable Person to Marry, Answers.

The Study Watchtower, «Article 21», 5-11-August 2024, How to have a successful courtship, Answers.

“The secret person of the heart […] is of great value” (1 PET. 3:4).

1, 2. What do some say about dating?

Courtship can be a very beautiful and exciting stage. Tiina from Ethiopia remembers with joy the happy and meaningful moments shared with her husband during their courtship.

On the other hand, Alessio from the Netherlands recognizes that although he enjoyed meeting his wife at that stage, they also faced challenges. The Bible offers principles that can help couples have a successful courtship, emphasizing the importance of genuine love and sincere communication, as well as the congregation can support young couples by providing an environment of love and wise counsel.

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF COURTAGE

3. What is the purpose of dating? (Proverbs 20:25).

The text we have just read reminds us that it is dangerous to promise something without thinking it through and then reflect on what was promised. With these words we understand that the purpose of courtship is for couples to get to know each other better and make an informed decision about whether they should get married. It is a time to evaluate compatibility and mutual commitment.

On the other hand, if the couple decides to end their relationship during courtship, it does not mean that they have failed, but rather that they have fulfilled the purpose of this stage, this purpose was to make a wise and thoughtful decision.

4. Why is it important to understand the purpose of dating?

Understanding the purpose of dating is essential because it allows singles to enter into relationships with a clear and sincere intention, avoiding getting involved with people with whom they do not contemplate a marital future. This understanding is also crucial for everyone in the congregation, as it can prevent Unnecessary pressures on couples.

Melissa, a single sister from the United States, says that the pressure from the congregation for couples to get married can lead some to stay together even though the relationship does not work out or others to avoid dating to avoid facing that stress. 

TRY TO KNOW YOURSELF WELL

5, 6. What things should those in a relationship seek to know? (1 Peter 3:4).

To decide whether to marry someone, it is essential to know the person well during courtship. This includes discovering the secret person of the heart as we have read in 1 Peter 3:4, that is, their spirituality and their way of being and thinking. We must evaluate if the person will be a good husband or wife and if they would fit well with us.

It is also important to consider whether we can give each other the necessary love and attention, and whether we can accept each other's flaws. The most compatible couples are those who adapt well to each other's differences.

7. What can couples do to get to know each other better? (See also the box “Relationships at a distance” and the images).

To get to know each other better during courtship, it is essential to speak openly, ask questions and know how to listen, thus applying what we read in James 1:19, participating in activities that encourage conversation such as eating together, taking a walk and going out to preach can be very useful.

It is also valuable to spend time with friends and family and observe how the other person behaves in various situations and with different people. For long-distance relationships, these suggestions can be applied through video conferences or phone calls. However it is crucial to spend time together couples should consider whether they are willing to move and adapt to a new culture or language and evaluate the costs of dating and other associated expenses.

ILLUSTRATION

Series of images: 1. A couple are sitting together in a cafe chatting animatedly. 2. Another couple is cooking together at a social gathering. 3. A brother and sister talk on a video call. They are studying the jw.org article “What Can I Expect from Marriage?” Part 1.” The brother has the Bible open in front of him. Something that will help couples get to know each other better is to participate in activities where it is easy to talk. (See paragraphs 7 and 8).

8. What are some benefits of couples studying together?

Studying Bible topics together during courtship has several benefits. If in the end the couple decides to get married, they will have already internalized and established the habit of devoting time to family worship, ensuring that Jehovah is an essential part of their marriage. This habit allows the couple to better understand each other's spirituality and their knowledge and commitment to biblical principles.

 Furthermore, this type of study encourages open communication between both parties and leads to mutual understanding, strengthening the relationship and preparing the way for a married life centered on Jehovah.

OTHER FACTORS THAT SHOULD BE TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT

9. What should couples take into account when deciding who they are going to tell that they are dating?

Couples should decide together who to tell about their relationship, at first they may prefer to inform only a few people to avoid excessive pressure and questions. However, they should not keep the relationship an absolute secret, as this can lead to isolation, which is dangerous as we see in Proverbs 15:22.

The most prudent thing is to inform people who can provide support and good advice, such as mature family friends or elders of the congregation, these people can offer valuable guidance and help the couple manage their relationship in a healthy way and in accordance with biblical principles.

10. What will help the couple have a clean courtship? (Proverbs 22:3).

The text we have just read highlights the importance of foreseeing danger and taking action to avoid it. Therefore, to have a clean courtship, it is important for couples to avoid situations that can lead to temptation. As feelings intensify, it is natural to feel more attracted to each other. However, they should avoid talking about immoral topics, being alone and drinking excessively, as this can intensify their sexual desires and make it difficult to remain pure, therefore, taking preventive measures is key. 

Dawit and Almaz from Ethiopia always spent time in public places or with friends to avoid compromising situations. Talking openly about how to respect Jehovah's standards and setting clear boundaries will help keep your relationship with God clean and pleasant.

11. What should couples keep in mind about displays of affection?

Furthermore, displays of affection can easily lead to loss of control and sin, which is why from the beginning of the courtship it is very important to talk about the limits that will be set.

To follow biblical principles you must ask yourself: How are these displays of affection perceived in your environment? And if intense desires awaken in one of the two, establishing and respecting these limits helps keep the relationship pure and in harmony with biblical principles.

12. What should couples keep in mind when problems and disagreements arise?

When problems and disagreements arise in dating, it does not necessarily mean that the relationship is going badly, since all couples experience differences of opinion. A strong marriage is based on two people working together to overcome differences, the way the couple handles problems during courtship is indicative of how they might handle difficulties in the marriage. 

It is important that they can talk things through calmly and respectfully, admit their mistakes and strive to improve, as well as give in, apologize and forgive. However, if disagreements and arguments are constant, they should not expect the situation to improve with marriage. In such cases, it may be prudent to reconsider the relationship and whether it is necessary to end the courtship for the well-being of both.

13. What should couples take into account when deciding how long their courtship should last?

Deciding the duration of the courtship is important for the couple, it is wise to avoid hasty decisions, since these usually lead to negative results.

In Proverbs 21:5 we see how taking the time to get to know the other person well is essential before making any important decision. However, procrastinating unnecessarily can also bring emotional frustration. The Bible warns that prolonging the courtship for too long can increase sexual temptation, therefore, rather than counting how long the courtship lasts, it is essential to reflect on what else you need to know about the couple to make an informed decision about the future together.

HOW OTHERS CAN SUPPORT THE COUPLES

14. What are some ways to help the couple? (See also the image).

An effective way to help the couple is by applying what we read in Romans 12:13, being able to invite them to activities where they can be together and get to know each other better, such as outings or meals. It is also useful to offer them accompaniment or provide them with spaces where they can talk without being there. alone, which strengthens your connection and supports your growth as a couple.

It is important to be sensitive to their needs by providing them with time, space or company as they require. By acting in this way we can play a positive role in strengthening their relationship, preparing them for their future marital commitment.

ILLUSTRATION

Two boyfriends are at a social gathering, sitting together and having a private conversation. If we know a couple, let's look for ways to help them. (See paragraphs 14 and 15).

15. How else can we help the couple? (Proverbs 12:18).

Supporting the couple also means being careful with our words and actions. According to Proverbs 12:18, we must be aware of how our words can affect others. This means showing discretion when talking about the couple's relationship and avoiding disclosing personal information. without their consent, their privacy and allowing them to share important news at their own pace is important.

We must also refrain from making comments or questions that assume or put pressure on their marriage plans, since each couple has their own path and time to make their decisions, so it is essential to respect their individual process.

16. What should we do if we find out that a couple broke up?

When we find out that a couple has decided to break up, it is important to show empathy and respect for their privacy. 

According to First Peter 4:15, we should not speculate on the reasons for their breakup or take sides, it is essential to remember that a breakup does not necessarily mean that the courtship has failed, but rather that it served its purpose by helping both of them make the best decision. , in that case it is essential to be available to offer emotional support to the ex-boyfriends.

As Proverbs 17:17 mentions, we must be willing to listen without judging, offer comfort, and accompany him as needed.

17. What should the couple continue doing?

It is essential that couples continue to strive to get to know each other better. This means dedicating time and effort to truly understand the other person's values, spirituality, and vision of the future. By doing so, they are better prepared to make decisions about their future and maintain communication. open and honest.

Pursuing activities that foster mutual understanding and receiving appropriate support from the congregation can strengthen the relationship and help overcome any challenges that arise.

WHAT WOULD YOU ANSWER?

What is the purpose of courtship?

Courtship helps the two get to know each other better and can make a good decision about their future, whether to get married or end the relationship if necessary.

What can couples do to get to know each other better?

Couples can get to know each other better by talking openly, asking questions, listening to each other, sharing activities, and discussing important topics such as values, spirituality, and future expectations.

How can the other siblings support the couple?

Couples can get to know each other better by talking openly, asking questions, listening to each other, sharing activities, and discussing important topics such as values, spirituality, and future expectations.